Letting go is so damn hard

Letting go of something - especially when that something is so close to your heart -is sooo bloody hard..

I've recently let go of a couple things I seriously thought I couldn't live without. Honestly? It's almost killing me. I've been on a near-constant state of crying for the past few days. Senang betul nak keluar air mata - at work, dalam teksi, in the LRT, dalam kereta. Nak tido every night tu tak payah cakap lah, memang sah bangun pagi mata bengkak.
I've lost the appetite to eat, and I haven't been sleeping well lately..
A colleague asked "How come dah lost weight? Sakit ke?" Hmm...

I initially wanted to remain selfish and didn't want to let go. I mean I was happy with how things were going on.
But then I realised that I've come to depend on them too much, when in fact some distance should've been maintained.. They're not exactly available, and goodness knows they can't commit anymore than what they've given so far.

And so I let them go. I said goodbye. I honestly do not know if it's a permanent farewell, or just a temporary separation.

One part of me wish for things to be as they were before. But I guess we know it's not as easy as I hoped it would be.

I'm sorry. I truly am.