So.. what's your doodle?

I've noticed a habit (long time ago pun dah notice dah) of mine.. when I'm on the phone and I can get my hand on a piece of paper and a pen / pencil, I would doodle.
I also doodle when I'm thinking about something (mm, tangan ni gemar betul berjalan :P)

OK, my Microsoft Word program tells me doodle can also be called sribbles, squiggles, drawings, etc.. I'd simply call it 'conteng-conteng' hehe..

Mm.. selalunya.. my doodles would consist of my name (fullname or otherwise), or my initials, or various versions of my signature, or I would be drawing boxes / circles and shade them in, or I would be doodle-ing on the subject matter being discussed / whatever I'm thinking about.

A couple days ago, I doodled again while on the phone. When I hang up, I noticed something different about my contengan: I wrote the name of a very close friend. Lots of it. LOTS.

Hmm.. sejak bila pulak la aku start menulis nama orang lain ni..? :P
(OK, before anyone asks, let me just say that I don't intend to beritau who's the person. Nanti ada yg kecik hati pulak, susah kan? Better keep it to myself je lah hehe..)

* * *

I talked to Sheils on YM sometime last week.

Among many things we talked about, I admitted to Sheils about something I haven't exactly acknowledged lately : I miss being in a relationship.

Interesting eh..?

Marhaban ya Ramadhan..

Selamat datang wahai bulan Ramadhan.
Selamat datang ya bulan yang penuh rahmat dan barakah.
Selamat datang hai bulan yang penuh dengan pengampunan, yang pintu taubat dibuka seluas-luasnya..

Ramadhan starts on Sunday 24th Sep'06 for us here in Malaysia.

Salam Ramadhan everyone.
Mohon ampun maaf kalau ada buat salah dan silap (kalau nak tunggu 1 Syawal baru minta maaf, tak tentu lagi bertemu ke tidak, kan.. Minta maaf lah siap-siap hehe..)

Good to gather up :)

The Girls gathered last Saturday, this time at Mas's new house - her bachelor pad hehe.. Sheils & I came on Friday night - Mas fetched us at KL Sentral, and we went for dinner at this place with lots photos of P.Ramlee and other 50's / 60's celebs, somewhere kat err.. Hartamas? Sorry, definitely not my area so aku tak tau.

Then we went home to Mas's place.

OMG... I SOOOOO love her house, right from the moment I stepped in! You should've seen me in those first few minutes - tak sabar2 nak tengok every inch of her bachelor pad!

Babes, aku SUKA giler kat rumah kau. Can I come lepak sometimes..? Hhehehe..

* * *

Gathering was good, of course. Food was PLENTY! Girls, we really need to cut down on our tendency to bring too much. LOLs.. But alhamdulillah, everyone ada bawak balik something :)

We watched a movie called Something New - Mel brought the DVD over. Although I didn't watch the whole movie completely, I managed to catch enough of the movie to understand it. And Mel, I cried at the end. Even with the happy ending, as I told Sheils, that kind of things don't happen to me :P

There were some talking done, although not as much as I would've liked (erm, camner nak borak with DVD and makan and dunno what else..)..

* * *

However.. Mas, Sheils & I did do some talking on Friday.. until about 1.30 in the morning (OK, Mel.. don't freak out.. breathe....)

One of the things I mentioned (and it still plays in my head until this minute), is that.. one of the things I miss out when I'm not married, are my own kids.

I mean, if I don't have my own kids, siapa lah nak doakan aku and sedekah al-Fatihah for me when I'm not around nanti.. kan? As Sheils mentioned.. after a certain period, friends forget. Even close friends.

OK takmo cakap dah. Sensitif lak pagi-pagi ni.

Lately ni..

..terasa mudahnya menangis.

Hati ni, asyik sayu je.

Dok fikir apa, aku sendiri pun tak pasti.

Yang pasti, brain activities aku shot up laa recently.

An out-of-this-world experience..

Am back in KL, insyaAllah.. Been here since 2nd Sept.. Tapi, erm, macam tak tertulis lak post ni..

* * *

It was an out-of-this-world experience for me, in both Makkah and Madinah.
The sense of peace.. the feelings, the emotions.. the whole experience.. I guess it's a bit difficult to find the perfect words for them.

* * *

We arrived around 4pm local time in Jeddah. Headed straight to Madinah.

The first morning I went for solat Subuh in Masjid Nabawi.. I was overwhelmed by the throngs of people heading towards the masjid. Macam.. giler ramai orang. It was a bit surreal to me.. It was certainly a rare sight - for Subuh prayers that is. Nampak sangat lah berapa kerat je aku gi solat Subuh berjamaah kat masjid.

That same morning, after breakfast, Mak & I decided to visit maqam Rasulullah. The gates were opened for women daily only between 6.30am to about 9am. The rest of the time, women weren't allowed to be near Raudhah (inside the masjid).
Mula-mula ingat nak masuk gak ke Raudhah, tapi, lepas dengar some screams from some women, we both takut.. ingat stampede ke apa. So.. terpaksa la tukar plan.

Alhamdulillah found a spot mengadap maqam Rasul, so we both solat sunat and sampaikan salam pada Rasulullah and 2 sahabat, and sampaikan kiriman salam from friends and family pada Rasulullah.

Sebaknya hati.. Allah dan Rasulullah saja yang tahu. Airmata tak berhenti-henti mengalir masa kat dalam tu.

* * *

We spent 3 nights in Madinah.
The second morning (Monday), ada program ziarah. Sempat melawat a few places, termasuklah kebun kurma Salman Farisi. Hasil2 from kebun ni, dah diwakafkan untuk Masjid Nabawi. And kebun ni banyak tanam kurma ajwa / kurma Nabi / kurma Rasul. Alhamdulillah dapat la merasa air Madinah. Mak pesan, take this opportunity, jgn risau pasal basah ke kotor ke. Ni air dari kebun ni, underground water, dah beribu tahun. And it's the same water yg Rasulullah mandi and minum.

Lepas Mak cakap camtu, ramai lak dari group tu yg aku tengok pi turun ke parit tu and cuci2 kaki la, basuh muka, and tadah air Madinah. Hehe.. (Mak pernah sampai tempat ni, so she basically knows some history la..). Agaknya, kalau takde lelaki, aku dah mandi dah kat situ. Tapi.. hmm, terpaksa la kontrol sikit. LOLs..

On Tuesday morning, went to ziarah maqam Rasulullah again, to say goodbye. And doa sesangat supaya dapat ziarah again.. Please let this be just a temporary goodbye and not a permanent one.

Again berderai airmata..
Senang benar nangis bila fikir tak dapat kembali ke situ and ucap salam pada Rasulullah again..

* * *

Tuesday lepas lunch, left Madinah, and gerak gi Makkah. Arrived around 11pm (dalam ber-ihram tu), check in room, freshen up sikit, had late dinner, and around 12.15midnight, made our ways to Masjidil Haram.

Macam.. mimpi je rasa. Serious tak boleh bayangkan, camner agaknya Kaabah tu yer.. Went inside through Gate 1 (Gate King Abdul Aziz).. Jalan je.. ikut Mak Abah.

And suddenly there it is.
Kaabah.

I had to slow down, sebab it caught me by surprise.. Tiba-tiba je nampak. Macam.. tak percaya nya..
Bergenang lah gak airmata..

We started tawaf close to 12.30midnight. Took our time gak.. (1) sebab memang ramai orang (2) kena tengok2 Abah sikit. He walked a bit slowly, so.. Mak & I tak boleh laju sangat la..

Selesai tawaf, went to find a spot untuk solat sunat tawaf. Time tu, memang berderai airmata. I couldn't stop crying. Rasa syukur tak terhingga sebab diizinkan sampai ke Tanah Haram. Sempat la sujud syukur insyaAllah
Rasa insaf & rendah diri sangat, rasa tak layak tu memang menggunung laa.. sebab sejahat-jahat aku ni, Allah izinkan jugak sampai ke Baitullah, izinkan jugak aku pandang Kaabah-Nya.. aku ni bukan lah baik mana pun..

After that, we went for perform Saie. Finished around 3am. Balik bilik untuk gunting rambut. Bertahallul and alhamdulillah complete-lah umrah.
4am dah gerak balik ke masjid, coz Subuh is at 4.30am..

* * *

I still feel that I haven't described it the best I could. But honestly.. there's no right words to describe it.. Rasanya.. kena pergi sendiri and experience.

And perhaps the experience would differ between one person and another..

* * *

I think I put on weight, especially masa kat Madinah. Kat Makkah burn off fat sebab banyak jalan - tawaf, saie.. err also jalan2 ke kedai-kedai hehe..
Mana tak put on weight.. hati senang. Not much to worry about. Minum air paling healthy kat dunia ni - air zamzam. Agaknya berliter-liter laa dalam badan hehe.. Habis dicucinya perut hehe..

But Nour said I've lost weight. Hmm, nanti I'll hop on a scale and tell you on Monday, ok Nour? Hehhehe..

* * *

All in all, it was an awesome experience. And I'm dying to go again. Next time, insyaAllah nak pegi dengan parents again, and tengah doa so that Kai boleh join. And Ya and Niz too.

Anna, eventhough I should be striking it off my wishlist, I'm deciding to do otherwise. This wish stays put. I'm going there again. And again. And again. And again again again. InsyaAllah.. :))