OK, so I don't have any authority to talk about how to bring up a child - having none of my own.
But I've been around a few young cousins / nephews & nieces / friends' children, and I sometimes notice the way the parents handle their children. Definitely there are different ways.
I'm reminded of my open house last weekend. An old school friend came over, with her hubby and 2 kids, very small kids. The first one, a girl is 3 years old, and the second - a boy - is 1 year plus.
OK, kids being kids, of course they loved to run around and play with whatever they find interesting. These two kids most certainly did. What caught my attention (it definitely caught Abah's attention) was the way my friend handled her two children.
When any of her children did something she thought was wrong, she would go near the kid(s) and explained that this cannot be done, because of this, this, this. She actually took the time to explain to these two youngsters what their actions would cause. Like for example, the boy was sitting on our massage chair (which happened to be near our TV cabinet), and he was spinning it around, quite fast I'd say.
So my friend went near the boy, and explained, something like this: "Daniel, tak boleh buat macam ni. Nanti terlanggar pintu kaca tu, pecah. Dah lah pintu tu pecah, kaki Daniel pun boleh luka nanti."
Surprisingly, the boy stopped pusing-pusing the chair. Though he couldn't stop himself from running around a bit, hehe...
I don't know about you, but my Abah thought she was good with the kids. I believe Abah's exact words were: "I think she has good parenting skills". Probably he seen more that day (of course I wasn't with her the whole time she was at my house, I had like a hundred things to take care of).
***
And after remembering that friend being lovely with her kids, my mind is immediately thinking about another friend. More accurately, a colleague at work. OK fine, a colleague turned friend, sort of.
Her youngest child, the only boy, has got to be the most hyper-active boy I've ever had the luck to meet. This boy is 6 years of age.
At Im's house in Puchong yesterday, this boy was all over the place. And I really mean all over. He's in the kitchen, the next moment outside at the garage, the next breath climbing the stairs, blink your eyes and he's running down the stairs again and climbing the sofa. I swear it, I was sorely tempted to give him a good lecture. Yeah right, he wouldn’t stay still at a spot for more than 10 seconds.
The thing is, I'm amazed at the mother (my colleague). It's like, she closes one eye to what this boy is doing. I was soooo afraid that he would break something valuable in Im's place while he was running around. Or crash into someone. Or hurt himself.
All the mother did was to shake her head and said: "Boy! Apa macam ni? Lain kali Ibu takmo bawak boy lagi lah"
He totally ignored him. Of course lah, she was only issuing idle threats.
(Idle threats. After a while, even kids boleh tau, the parents will never carry out whatever they threatened to do. I think eventually the kids would pijak kepala.)
Oh yes, besides giving the boy a (false) threat, my colleague turned to the person next to her and apologetically said: "Dia memang selalu macam ni. Tak boleh nak buat apa dah. Itu yang tak bawak dia pergi rumah orang tak kenal."
Eh, hello?! Does that mean that she will definitely bring the boy along to the houses of the people she knows? My house, for instance?
I guess at first I could accept it. But after seeing the boy behaving that way time after time after time, I would think that the parents, even more so, the mom, didn't quite put their feet down firmly. Coz I don't think she actually sounded like she was scolding the boy. In fact, I thought the boy plain ignored her. Either that or the boy memang a gone case. Kedegaq orang utara sebut.
***
Initially, I didn't think much about it. I guess kids will always be kids. Tak reti dok diam.
But now, I think that the parents must play a part. Like tegur the kids when they do something wrong, or something that could harm themselves or people around them.
Most importantly, set good examples. I mean, how do you ask your child not to go around gossiping when gossiping is all you do from the moment you step into a kenduri / party until the time you leave?
As per the saying "Bapa borek, anak rintik" or the English version "Like father, like son", the parents should set the example for their offsprings to follow.
(Again I must reiterate that I have no experience in the upbringing of a child, so if I'm wrong, kindly forgive me.)
***
On a personal note, it's Ya's birthday today (6th December). Happy Birthday, Dik!! My younger sister turns 26. I'm still having difficulty to believe it, for somehow, she'll always be the younger sister, the baby sister. Hehhehehe...
Sis, 26 huh? Oh yes, may I remind you that at 26, you're old enough to bring up children of your own.
Good luck, Sis.
;-))
