Finding peace in one's solitude
After reading Nel's adventure, I was sorely tempted to do likewise. Take a drive by myself one Saturday morning. Go somewhere outside KL (remote / rural areas preferred), spend the night there. Drive back to KL the Sunday afternoon..
Oooohh.. I can SOO see the appeal!
Hmm.. although I must admit I lack the courage. Plus I'm lazy to plan where to spend the night hehehe. Plus I don't have my own car, yet. (haha! macam bagi alasan jer Yam ni. haiyaaa!)
Anyway, for now, I'll settle with spending the night at Rina's place tonight. Together with Sheils. I miss spending time with them laaa..
OK, not that there's gonna be much peace and quiet, and definitely NO solitary existance there.
But I think I'll find an equally blessed feeling with these two ladies.
* * *
Anne forwarded an article (well, it's more of a mail written in by a reader) from The Star yesterday, on the marriage 'institution' and such.
More cons than pros
GROUCHO Marx had this to say about marriage: “It is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Some chuckles may be heard from those, who, like me, are sceptical about it. Nowadays, how many young couples end up divorced just after a few years being confined in such an institution?
Many dream of having a grand, but few can actually afford one. Some resort to borrowing large sums of money from relatives, parents, friends and even banks, just for the sake of funding the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
To an extent, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of us only longed for a wedding, not a marriage. We look at bridal magazines and surf the Internet for inspiration and ideas.
We go to other people’s kenduri or wedding feasts sometimes with our own agenda - to comment on the decorations, food and everything from the bride’s make-up to the bunga telur.
I’m saying this as an observer who always gets dragged into going to weddings every time the school holidays turn up. Every so often I would be asked the million-dollar question: “When is it your turn, dear? You’re not getting any younger, you know,” from the many makciks and relatives I meet.
Now I have a list of replies to that sort of questions, depending on who’s asking. I could respond using Marx’s statement if I were in a cynical mood, but I could also be more polite and put it bluntly as “God has not willed it for me yet” or “It’s not the time for me yet”.
A friend once told her recently divorced aunt off for being a Nosy Parker. This aunt has been pestering her to get married for years, and she’s only 25! She finally snapped by saying: “Yeah, right! And for what? Just to be part of the statistics, like you!” They are not on speaking terms now, obviously.
A sceptic I may be, but still, I don’t deny that there are a lot of fairytales which come true and the bride and groom live happily ever after. Tears, sacrifice, money, hard work, patience - these are just some of the elements vital to the recipe for a long-lasting marriage - and indeed I am referring to my parents’ 29 years of marriage.
I must stress that love may not always remain the top priority. Once one has admitted oneself to the “institution”, responsibilities and being committed to each other should come first. And the rest will follow.
Just to sum up: marriage is also like a hotel room. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave!”
Nazreen
Mersing
Well... many may not agree to her letter (I wouldn't go on saying there's more cons than pros based on these arguments alone).
I think there are many other aspects to look at, but I'm just gonna make a generalisation that she's unmarried - and hence can't see the greener parts of that pasture.
Ultimately, I think it takes two to tango.
Two parties to make a marriage, but, unfortunately, only one to break it up.
Oh yeah, maybe I should add - one party plus a whole lot of things out there, to break a marriage.
Anne, I guess, when the time comes, it'll make its presence known lah.
In the meantime, enjoy the singlehood, woman.
I know it gives me time to do the things I enjoy by myself. You know, like baking macaroni.
LOLs.. kidding la, kidding!
Oooohh.. I can SOO see the appeal!
Hmm.. although I must admit I lack the courage. Plus I'm lazy to plan where to spend the night hehehe. Plus I don't have my own car, yet. (haha! macam bagi alasan jer Yam ni. haiyaaa!)
Anyway, for now, I'll settle with spending the night at Rina's place tonight. Together with Sheils. I miss spending time with them laaa..
OK, not that there's gonna be much peace and quiet, and definitely NO solitary existance there.
But I think I'll find an equally blessed feeling with these two ladies.
* * *
Anne forwarded an article (well, it's more of a mail written in by a reader) from The Star yesterday, on the marriage 'institution' and such.
More cons than pros
GROUCHO Marx had this to say about marriage: “It is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” Some chuckles may be heard from those, who, like me, are sceptical about it. Nowadays, how many young couples end up divorced just after a few years being confined in such an institution?
Many dream of having a grand, but few can actually afford one. Some resort to borrowing large sums of money from relatives, parents, friends and even banks, just for the sake of funding the once-in-a-lifetime experience.
To an extent, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of us only longed for a wedding, not a marriage. We look at bridal magazines and surf the Internet for inspiration and ideas.
We go to other people’s kenduri or wedding feasts sometimes with our own agenda - to comment on the decorations, food and everything from the bride’s make-up to the bunga telur.
I’m saying this as an observer who always gets dragged into going to weddings every time the school holidays turn up. Every so often I would be asked the million-dollar question: “When is it your turn, dear? You’re not getting any younger, you know,” from the many makciks and relatives I meet.
Now I have a list of replies to that sort of questions, depending on who’s asking. I could respond using Marx’s statement if I were in a cynical mood, but I could also be more polite and put it bluntly as “God has not willed it for me yet” or “It’s not the time for me yet”.
A friend once told her recently divorced aunt off for being a Nosy Parker. This aunt has been pestering her to get married for years, and she’s only 25! She finally snapped by saying: “Yeah, right! And for what? Just to be part of the statistics, like you!” They are not on speaking terms now, obviously.
A sceptic I may be, but still, I don’t deny that there are a lot of fairytales which come true and the bride and groom live happily ever after. Tears, sacrifice, money, hard work, patience - these are just some of the elements vital to the recipe for a long-lasting marriage - and indeed I am referring to my parents’ 29 years of marriage.
I must stress that love may not always remain the top priority. Once one has admitted oneself to the “institution”, responsibilities and being committed to each other should come first. And the rest will follow.
Just to sum up: marriage is also like a hotel room. You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave!”
Nazreen
Mersing
Well... many may not agree to her letter (I wouldn't go on saying there's more cons than pros based on these arguments alone).
I think there are many other aspects to look at, but I'm just gonna make a generalisation that she's unmarried - and hence can't see the greener parts of that pasture.
Ultimately, I think it takes two to tango.
Two parties to make a marriage, but, unfortunately, only one to break it up.
Oh yeah, maybe I should add - one party plus a whole lot of things out there, to break a marriage.
Anne, I guess, when the time comes, it'll make its presence known lah.
In the meantime, enjoy the singlehood, woman.
I know it gives me time to do the things I enjoy by myself. You know, like baking macaroni.
LOLs.. kidding la, kidding!
posted by Yam @ 1:26 pm
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