Oh young ones, the heartache & pain that you bring...

A dear beloved friend called me up the other day. When I first saw her name flashing on my mobile, I smiled. My first thought: “How nice to hear from her at this hour.” (It was night time and I was at home.)

So I picked up the call, expecting a session of gossiping maybe, or perhaps an invitation to lepak & chit chat.

Imagine my shock when I heard her voice – OMG! She was sobbing away while saying “Hi”. I was speechless for a moment. I thought something bad has happened to her. Accident? Robbery? Death of a family member?

The first 10 seconds of the call passed by, and I’m able to breathe again. *Sigh* Woman, you gave me a shock!

No, I don’t mean to belittle her problem. But when I first heard her voice she was crying, and of course my imagination ran amok!

Turned out that she’s having a bit of heartache in dealing with the younger siblings.

Honey, I can totally relate to what you’re feeling. Oh, believe me when I said that.

The young ones, they sometimes take us big sister / brother for granted.
As if the companies we work for would happily hand out fat paychecks at the end of every month.
As though we plant money tree in the backyard. Cash is never a problem, right?
As if we’re gonna be around forever.

Face it honey, it is hard being the eldest child.
Even harder when the younger ones get away with things, and so we’re stuck with whatever responsibilities being pushed into our laps.
Even harder when we’re the ones with willing ears to listen to the parents complaining about the younger ones.
And harder still when we have good hearts, and we don’t dare to even think about hurting the parents’ hearts, so we try to be the best daughter / son that we can be.

I’m sorry. No intention whatsoever to imply that the eldest child is always the best, or the most responsible. I’m simply sharing how I feel as the eldest of a few siblings.

Try talking to the one causing you pain. Try not to turn it into a shouting match, will you? If you can’t bear to talk to her / him, why not try to talk to another sibling (who isn’t currently not causing you any heartache) – with the hope that she / he will tell the other one about your feelings. The point here is to make them understand what’s hurting you. And doa banyak-banyak that they don’t do it again.

Or if that’s not possible, talk to a friend. Let it out of your chest. Hopefully, you can let go of the pain.

I guess heartaches and pain are part and parcel of being a family. So try not to dwell too much on it. Life goes on, woman. And it’s short, too! Count the blessings instead.
And sometimes, despite all the heartaches and pain, you realise that you still love them.

And that, my friend, is what family is about.